My Love

Today is my husbands birthday. Last night we surprised him with a mini party with just us and the kids because tonight we are planning to go out just the two of us. I made him some fajitas and bought a cookie cake 🙂 it was fun.
Last night as I laid in bed trying to get myself to drift off to sleep, my mind started reflecting back on the past few months. I got to thinking of how much different things would be if he had not made it through the infection. As I thought on these things, I felt a deep emptiness and sorrow in my heart. I wondered how I would have even made it through the birth of our 3rd child without him there. Then I pictured myself trying to pull myself out of bed each day in attempts to continue life without him. I felt such a strong emptiness in my heart.
Those feelings make me realize how much of an impact he has on my feelings. I am a believer and I try to walk close to God. I try to seek a refuge and strength in Him. Yet, as I lay there thinking about my husband, I realize that a lot of my joy in life comes from him. I know I need God to be the cause of my joy, and I pray for this all the time. I know that at any given time, any member of my family can be pulled out of my life. My prayer is that I could be like Job and say. “The Lord giveth, and The Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of The Lord.”






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